My parents lived through tough times. When my father was a young man, he was a representative for a Car manufacturing company. He got a new car every year and made good money.
Then along came the war – World War II. Car manufacturing went down the tubes – the government needed the rubber and metal.
My father tried to enlist – they fluorographed his feet and said he couldn’t enlist because he’d had polio – his feet were flat and he wouldn’t be able to march.
He had never had polio but they wouldn’t hear it.
This was the beginning of a huge downturn in his life. Able bodied men who weren’t “over there” fighting, were looked down upon. His job was gone due to the manufacturer’s closing. He began a time of job hopping and moving around.
My mother was very unhappy with their change in situation.
By the time I was born in 1950, the war had ended, but the situation continued.
I heard my parents argue often. Well, mostly my mother did the arguing and my father listened. She would enumerate his shortcomings and end with declaring that she would pack her belongings and get on the bus to North Carolina and live with her family there.
I began to have terrible nightmares. In my nightmare, my mother was walking out the door with her suitcase and heading to the bus stop on the corner. I was running behind her, pulling on her coat and begging her not to leave or begging her to pleeeeease take me with her. She just brushed me away, like a blue-tailed fly and got on the bus and was gone. And I was alone and lost forever.
And then I would wake up sobbing. But I would never tell anyone why. I never told about my dream. I think I felt that their arguments were somehow my fault, that it was ME she wanted to leave.
It was years before I understood that she was just venting her frustration over how her life had changed and how she had no control over it.
And I wonder how much those feelings changed the course of my life as I shouldered the fear and dread of abandoment during those young years.
Even now, at the age of … well… dirt 🙂 when I think of it I still feel a pervading sadness.
Here’s me at 5 years of age:
A Matter of Time
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- Memoire Challenge Post I: Childhood – An Attempt to Impart Wisdom :)
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Blogs I Follow
- Rosie Amber
- Optimising Nutrition
- KetoStyle's Recipes
- Looking Around!
- Honoring veterans of all wars
- Cristian Mihai
- Just Olga
- Living Lightly
- P.C. ZICK
- Anmarea Writes
- Susan E. Miller
- Let Your Imagination SOAR
- erigo abyssus
- Ivy Moon Press
- CommuniCATE Resources for Writers
- A Glimpse of Heaven: The Philosophy of True Health
- This Corner of the Universe
- You Don't Know Me!
- Randy Ellefson's Blog
- The Diesel-Electric Elephant Company.
- Dulcimer Gathering
- Morgen 'with an E' Bailey
- Mom Mom's Apron
- Bernice Agyekwena's Blog
- Creative Expressionz
- Lafayette Writers Group
- The Iron Writer Challenge
- <3..........Laura Crean...........<3
- AUTHOR JENNIFER LOISKE
- Kayla Stonor's Blog
- gardnslave's Blog
- Susan Finlay Writes
- CC MACKENZIE - USA Today Bestselling Author
- ...And Everything in Between...
- L.J. Lenehan
- Jessica Becker
- 960 hits
From The Storybookster: Let Your Imagination SOAR
From My Imagine Blog: Imagine